Her Story...

How do I start out telling you about this child? Do I start with that I was told by more than one doctor that I would never be able to have children? Or do I start out telling you about how I met her father on a city bus (he was my secret admirer and looked like one of the Guys from ZZ Top!) Do I explain how madly in love I was with him, only God had other plans and it was just never meant to be?

As I sit here my mind is racing back to all these things. Some of the memories make me smile while others hurt me to the core of my soul. I miss Lulu and I still wonder what she would have been like if she would have lived. Maybe she would have been tall,and her hair would be long like her sister Christina or would she have kept it short like mine? These are just some of the question I wonder sometimes...

I can tell you she loved Jesus, me, her unborn brother and most of all she love her little sister Christina. As far as Lulu was concerned Christina could do no wrong and a matter of fact I don't remember them ever getting into any kind of a disagreement! Seem strange that a 4 year old and a 2 year old never being mean to each other,never raising their voices, never even one time of "Mom tell her to leave me alone." Oh how I had forgotten how much they cared and loved each other.

I hope this blog will be full of memories, not only from me but form others who knew her and maybe even from some that didn't, but have been touched by her story over the years.

Today is Feb 28,2009...25 years since Lulu went home with Jesus. So in honor of Gods, love, grace and mercy, I will try my best to keep my promise to her and finally be able to tell how her life was so much more than just cancer...

Let me take one minute to explain about the picture of the little girl chasing the butterfly. Needless to say I was over joyed when I found that picture because when I was pregnant,I had a dream where I saw that same little girl. She told me "I am happy Jesus is letting you be my mom" I ran my finger through her soft hair, she smiled, then I woke up. Now when Lu was dying she told my mom she saw herself in heaven running through a field of flowers chasing a butterfly...